Wit
To Blurb or Not to Blurb
From the dust jacket of this week's bestseller: One of the greatest novels of the past year, the author must be commended for his approach to the epic story of a boy, a girl and a sandwich during the Great War! - P. P. Simoleon, The Picayune Gazette
By Kendall Defoe about a year ago in Humor
Belts With Holes are Dead
Author's preface: In one possible dystopian future the fall of man was brought about not by a nuclear holocaust or alien invasion, nor by a biological agent unleashing a zombie plague or a global economic collapse, but rather by an event so mundane, so random, so seemingly inconsequential that not even the wisest of men could have predicted it. This is the world of belts with holes are dead. A world ended when the last belt with holes suddenly disappeared from our planet earth. A hellish nightmarescape where the ability to keep one’s pants up even if they are too large is no longer an option for most. The rich seclude themselves in future belt enclaves where they live in relative luxury and wear whatever size pants within +/- two sizes they desire while the poor live in squalor, suffering from constant pants droppage or doing anything they can to just get by. The lowest of these, the so called “below the knee cutters” are the worst off by far. Their misery was so great that they actually took scissors to every pair of pants they owned and cut them off below the knees. Sick I know, do not read on if you are faint of heart. The only hope left are the so called Pioneers of Future Belts. Will they arrive in time to save our once beautiful planet and usher in a utopian paradise where everyone, regardless of means, can choose to wear whatever pants they want, no matter the waist size or inseam length? These stories represent the collected works of just some of the people who lived through those dark times. Pray their future does not become our own.
By Everyday Junglistabout a year ago in Humor
It wasn't until I crapped my pants that I knew I was allergic to seafood.
It had been 4 years, 2 months and 6 days since I had gone on a date. Not because I went through a bad breakup and was wallowing in self-pity, but because I’d been so focused on my career that I had time for little else. I had moved my way up to project manager at a large marketing firm. I had an office filled with inspirational quotes, a fern in the corner that was half dead due to severe dehydration and a goldfish, Frank. Frank and I had been together for about 5 years. Even though there were occasions where a considerable amount of time had passed between feedings and water changes, Frank, the trooper, pulled through. Everything in my life seemed to be working out great and just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, I met Ramona.
By Christoph Wettyabout a year ago in Humor
He Who Laughs at Himself Never Runs Out of Things to Laugh At:
Why Laugh at Yourself? Because life is basically one long, unpredictable sitcom, and you are both the star and the audience. You may not have a script, but you do have one superpower: the ability to laugh when things go hilariously wrong. Whether it’s sending a text to your boss that was meant for your spouse ("Can’t wait to see you tonight, love!"), or confidently striding into a glass door like an overzealous superhero, finding humor in your own missteps is a gift that keeps on giving.
By Randolphe Tanoguemabout a year ago in Humor
Sarah Cooper Returns!
She's back, folks! It has been at least one month since that individual in that nation to the south took the oath of office and much of the respect and honour earned by other presidents over many years. It has not been the most pleasant time of the year to consider all those jobs lost, the arrests made, the idiotic comments made, and the future plans that will disrupt trade, business, and make life much harder for those of us who thought we could surf above the nonsense we knew was coming our way.
By Kendall Defoe about a year ago in Humor
Now That’s What I Call Stupid
Ah, high school. A time of awkward first dates, questionable fashion choices, and moments so cringe-worthy they haunt you for years. But nothing—and I mean nothing—prepared me for the legendary tale of the guy who thought bare hands were oven mitts. Buckle up, because this is a story of bravery, stupidity, and a pizza that deserved better.
By mureed hussainabout a year ago in Humor
Oui, Oui, je vais à Paris!
C’est vrai! Vous pouvez imaginer? Moi! Desmina de Vil, la fille de Cruelle, vais à Paris! I celebrated my 24th birthday on some rainy night - quel temps du chien!- in Paris. I was in the Metro when my new iPhone (and heart) got snatched up by some RUDE boy.
By Desmina de Vilabout a year ago in Humor
