humor

"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "

Better for the bottom line
John Crowley had attended many board meetings in his life, but he had never been in a whiter room than he was in now. In fact he had never seen anything so blindingly white, and it took his eyes several moments to adjust. He rubbed them briefly before he could see, and it was at that moment he realized he was holding a little black book. How odd.
By John Odonah5 years ago in Humans
Grandmas little black book.
"Dad!, Can I ask you a question?" John asked as he entered the kitchen. "Pretty sure you just did. Weren't you going to help grandma for some cash today? How'd that go?"
By Ryan Willemsen5 years ago in Humans
Ken's Big Day
“It’s your money Ken, do what you want with it. Just don’t spend it all in one place!” she said jokingly, as she turned back towards the wall-mounted telephone. “As I was saying…” she drifted off. You know what, he thought, she’s right. It was his money. He was the one who found the scarecrow. He was the one who spotted the little black book stuffed in the scarecrow’s shirt. He was the one who pulled it out of the pocket, ripping the shirt open enough to see the fortune underneath! And then, when he tried to tell her about his big score, she wouldn’t even listen to him! All she did was get mad at him for doing a little exploring! He never even wanted to move here. He liked his life in the city. She was the one who thought it was so important to connect with nature. So what, he took a little stroll? God forbid he have a little fun out here on the edge of civilization.
By Dan Howse5 years ago in Humans
The Little black Book
The little black book had been in her family for generations. Every year, the bearer of this book would open it on it’s birthday and read the new prophecy. It was Eva’s turn to read the book. You never knew what the book would announce: war, marriage, death. Sometimes it would be good news, sometimes terrible. This year Eva prayed it would be some kind of clues to get money: surprised inheritance, the PowerBall numbers, anything would do. She was broke like she had never been before!
By Elodie Massa5 years ago in Humans
The Little Ram
I like signs that point out restaurants at the next exit after you’ve been driving for hours looking for something other than McDonald’s. I like signs of warning, especially the ones for spicy foods. There’s nothing worse than taking a long-awaited bite of a new Chinese dish and you missed the four little red peppers next to it on the menu.
By Jess Osborne5 years ago in Humans
The Wish List
I didn’t plan on cleaning the attic of my deceased grandparents house in a Saturday morning, but here I am. Why? Because my mother claims she’s too old to climb up there and she’s bribed me with her famous meatloaf. I could eat it everyday. One day I will be immune to its charm and she’ll have to try something else. Clearly today isn’t that day. After a lot of sneezing, huffing and puffing I cleared a lot of dust, a box of clothes and a few dead rats out of the attic. As I climbed down the stairs the aroma of mom’s dinner hit me full force. I couldn’t get to the bathroom to get cleaned up fast enough.
By Arnez5 years ago in Humans
Butter
I’d like to say I hadn’t pictured my life going like this but, honestly, it’s pretty damn close. Peaches and I grew up in the boons where kids threw rocks at windows or stole hood ornaments off cars for something to do. Thinking back now, it was stupid to expect anything else from that crap hole town.
By Janet Macpherson5 years ago in Humans
The Will to Aggravate
It’s not every morning that I wake up angry. It’s not because my aunt died - I hated her. She was the bane of everyone’s existence, making us miserable from the moment she woke up till the moment she went to sleep. The woman was obnoxious, selfish and rude, not to mention a proud racist and homophobe. No, I was angry because she had apparently put me in her will, and I was to report to her attorney’s office promptly at 9 a.m. to hear him read it.
By Krista Golden5 years ago in Humans
When Anita Met Charles
Anita Harris had finally had enough. Her shirt stuck to her skin as she uselessly flapped her hand around her face. It had been stupidly hot all day and she was still suffering. Did she smell? God, she hoped she didn’t. Her nose twitched as she inhaled deeply but any scent of hers was masked by the overwhelming mix of dust, engine oil and musk that was the London underground.
By Zarah Andre5 years ago in Humans
A Leo Like No Other
I have never put much faith in Astrology. Well that is to say as far as who is compatible with whom. I feel as though even if you have stronger personality traits leaning one way or another should not decide your fate. If you want something to work, you must believe it will, and work to make sure it will. I guess in saying this it leads me to my next point I was born at the end of July, making my star sign a Leo. I do posses many of the traits of this fire sign. Anyone that knows me may even tell you that I am your typical Leo. For the most part I would predominantly agree with that.
By Carolyn Leonelli5 years ago in Humans
I am Cancer
I am Cancer. Hear me… cry myself to sleep at night. If you ever come across a description of Cancerians that doesn’t begin with ‘sensitive and emotional’, please send it my way, for the novelty value. When people ask me what my sign is at parties, I try to make a joke of it. I always reply: “Cancer, the emotional wreck of the zodiac.” If they know anything about astrology, they usually nod, and say: “Yeah.”
By Lorelei Russell5 years ago in Humans
An Open Letter To My Lovely (if somewhat ancient) Neighbors
Dear F & G, who both live in the flat downstairs, I hope you’re keeping well. I’m basically writing to let you know that you are genuinely very nice neighbors, and although due to COVID-19 we have only seen each other through the window, or over the yard wall for about a year, I would also like to express my eternal gratitude that you are a massive improvement on “the ones that came before”.
By The Duffers Diary5 years ago in Humans