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Some 3 TOP annoying things!

...Attractive people, of any gender, who lecture on shallowness! ......Is there an "international mens day"? ...AND... ...It turns out that Vanity Seizing by clothes manufactures IS A THING!

By Ross E Fortune LombardiPublished about 11 hours ago 3 min read

!

SOME 3 TOP annoying things!?

.

Annoyance 1:

Attractive people, of any gender, who lecture on shallowness!

"Oh no!”

“People only like me because of my looks"

"They are so shallow"...

Hold my salt tear filled beer!

FFS!

.

I can ignore most normal bullshit outside intimidation.

BUT I DO often run home from a night out, early, from looking in the wrong mirror!

.

If I ever managed to get to an ideal weight,

Wore a ten-thousand-dollar suit

And spent 3 hours to make myself look my absolute best?

You’d still throw yourself out of a ten-story window,

if you had to look that bad for over three days!

.

Even with Nanotech and a mass spectrometer,

you can’t make a violin small enough for your dire trite crap!

.

If I had a gene with three wishes,

It would still take the power of all three combined

to look a quarter as good as you lot do…

… on your scruffiest, grungiest day, sleep deprived,

covered in vomit and a pants full of shit from a fourth day of food poisoning!

.

Look, I’m sorry for the initial sarcastic anger,

I am…

BUT

You cannot possibly understand this type of pain

And that’s not your fault, you’re not to blame for that!

I DO know you mean well And that you Are trying to be a good person,

But Still, You simply can’t

And honestly

I hope that you never have to go through that

I hope you never get to truly understand “Ugly Life”.

Because I wouldn’t wish that soul destroying shit on anyone!

.

.

Annoyance TWO!:

THIS HAPPENS EVERY INTERNATONAL WOMANS DAY!

EVERY TIME!

SOME MORON MOANS...

...is there an "international mens day"?

.

Yes...

Yes there is...

INTERNATIONAL MENS DAY

EVERY YEAR!

NOV 19th

.

But seriously...

LOL!

Why do I even need a mens day!

I'm not disenfranchised purely based on my gender!

I don't have less money because of my gender!

I'm not killed because of my gender!

.

What's the fucks next!?

International perfectly healthy day?

International straight persons day?

International white person day?

International billionaires day?

International 'I have less problems than you' day??!

.

God dam!

International mens day is such bullshit! -

THAT is why hardly anyone cares about it.

Because it doesn't matter!

We don't need it!

It's stupidly on a stick!

.

PS!

TO BE CRYSTAL CLEAR:

The Male Loneliness Epidemic

Is MENs FAULT for acting like evil arseholes

Not Woman’s fault for not wanting to be threatened, beaten and killed!

.

If your a man that wants to be angry at anyone about it

THEN Be angry at all the other men that caused your problem!

.

.

Annoyance 3:

Ok

It turns out that Vanity Seizing by clothes manufactures IS A THING!

And for bullshit reasons it does NOT break any consumer laws

So there is me being so proud of myself getting my waste measure down and bragging

Only to find out that I have not actually achieved anything

Because fucking big money is allowed to lie to us all, again!

I hate this modern world SO much!

Big Business are all just total arse holes.

.

FUCK!

That means that If I ignore clothes sizes

And go by the NHS tape measure guide

I am actually still at a 48” waste!.

No Wonder I can’t get a date!

I’ll never get thin enough to be good looking!

It can Not be done!

SHIT!

I’m stuck being fucking ugly forever!

This changes everything!

What the hell am I supposed to do now!?!..

"A 48-inch waist exceeds NICE health recommendations—aiming for less than half one's height"

Well as soon As my ugly arse can die from heart disease and diebetes the better

No point being this ugly and still breathing

.

ComedyWritingIronySarcasmSatire

About the Creator

Ross E Fortune Lombardi

Writer and Artist.

A (Constantly Failing To Be Funny) satirist!

Mutare non est meum

Cantus moriar

EMAIL

[email protected]

BLOG:

http://lombot.co.uk

You Tube:

https://www.youtube.com/@Rat_Lombot/featured

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